Many complain in the Parish that I am far too skinny and need to put on some more weight. My thanks to Fr Heron for pointing out the problem here, and why I desist afternoon Tea!

A British politician has just said that obese people have only themselves to blame. He has the cheek to accuse Fat Brits of gluttony!
Since when has one of the seven deadly sins been the reason for people to be fat?
No. It’s over-size chocolate bars and BIG Tubs of Ice Cream and KFC that are to blame. You’ve got to put the whole lot in your mouth. About six years ago, a national survey of about 2,500 religious leaders showed that 76 percent of clergy were either overweight or obese, compared with 61 percent of the general population. In Australia clergy are fatter than construction managers, the local banker or the computer whizz down the street .It has been suggested that seminaries teach ordinands to eat properly when they are unleashed into Church Cake Stalls and Parish Breakfasts. Churches in the the US, Britain and Australia are awash with cakes, jams, quiches and sausages, and the Vicar has to eat the whole lot.

Not me, Fr David! I’m a coffee only sort of guy!

Night With The Stars




This will be the ideal opportunity to experience stars in your eyes. Join Friends for their annual ‘Big Bash’ on Friday 24th October in the Church for ‘A Night With the Stars’.

Think Hollywood – the glamour , the glitter and the scandals. Watch St . Auggie’s Oscars presented with all the ceremony – there might be one for you!

Dine from a table festooned with millionaire style food – a big lobster has been booked for centre stage. But lovers of plain food will not have to go to the Blue Lagoon because last year’s Candlelit Supper caterer will return by popular demand and he can titillate any palate.

Our theme will be stars and you can buy your own lucky star and, perhaps, win a star prize.

Entertainment will be a tribute to the movies – songs and memorable music, a troupe of leggy dancing girls and the opportunity to show the world and St. Auggies how much you remember about those wonderful days when Dumbarton had four cinemas!

Naturally, the whole evening will be filmed and photographed so leave that anorak at home and come in your most glamorous frock. Dress as your favourite film star – we are expecting Marilyn Monroe, Charlie Chaplin and hopefully, Bette Davis. The choice is never ending. And for younger film fans there is the White Witch from Narnia, a Lord of the Rings character or even E.T.

You won’t feel comfortable as Old Mother Riley but Shirley Temple’s an option for those with a perm and a good pair of legs. We are not expecting Tarzan or Esther Williams but may be surprised. So, get along to those Charity Shops before Roberta and use your imagination.

When faced with a credit crunch and a recession a night of laughter, fantasy, good food and good company will work wonders.


Cat and Dog

Many things go on in The Rectory, but here we have the Silent Assassin in training for tonight’s killing!