Baptism

We’re all looking forward to the big day tomorrow and little Jack Andrew’s Baptism. Extra seats out tomorrow! Magic!

School Day Today

Wonderful visit to Hill View Primary in Carluke today who were having a “Bring & Buy” sale in aid of our Gambian School. They raised a fair sum for us too!

I’ve been around a few Primary Schools in my time, and this is one of the best! Small, family feel, and smashing teachers! Maybe I’m biased! The Headie is a girl I went to school with a few years back!

The RW is getting a bit fed up, but a wonderful Indian Carry-Out tonight raised the spirits and gave the poor girl a break from my cooking!

Guard the Diet Pills!

Archbishop Peter Akinola is not one for reticence when he compares gay people with animals. They are symptomatic of a sick, western society. But today, an English animal is shown to be as bad as a ‘gay’. After a Baptism Service, an Anglican parrot has gone into a sexual frenzy and bonked a woman’s hat. HORRIFIED Jackie Lucking woke to find her parrot bonking her feather hat — while she was wearing it! Her pet Shrek flew into a lust-filled frenzy after swallowing nine SlimNSexy diet pills, which also boost sex drive. Mum-of-three Jackie, 40, of Witham, Essex, had nodded off wearing the hat after a christening. She said: “He turned into a maniac. All he wanted was to get his wing over, it’s disgusting.”
This will provide futher ammunition for conservative Anglicans like Akinola who want nothing to do with the decadent Church of England. (Spotted by Fr David Heron)

Irish Night!

All things Irish,  (Wednesday)

Come along dressed up “Irish” if you like!
Shamrocks optional! £6 (£5 for Friends)

Friends’ Events

After a meeting yesterday of The Friends Exec, in which ideas flowed freely like bolts from the blue, there will appear shortly dates for your diary in the coming months. Please check back later today.

One of my suggestions was a “Vicars & Tarts Disco”, which we could hold in  the church  using  new screens blocking off the Sanctuary. Some said that this would be offensive, but I think we’re broad-minded and fun-loving enough to carry this off and attract outsiders to come along, maybe for the first time, to an event.

Am I being silly, or is this worth persuing?

Prayer for Mondays – American Style

Heavenly Father, help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can’t make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slowly through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, and show patience, empathy, and love. Amen.

News From Fr Heron…

A further wedge has been placed in the search for unity between RCs and other Christains in a shocking assertion that Protestants make better marmalade and jam than Catholics .Mary Kenny, writing in the forthcoming Catholic Herald says that, as an ecumenical gesture, she attended choral evensong on Remembrance Sunday in her local C of E church, St Andrew’s, Deal. So tasty was the lemon marmalade at the bunfight afterwards that she was reminded of her childhood in Ireland “where it has always been said, even among the least ecumenically minded Catholics, that the Protestant ladies make the best jams, marmalades and pickles.


This is likely to produce envy and rivalry among RC women, many of whom would like to be ordained but are told just to stay at home and make jam. The news is likely to arouse the ire of militant marmalade makers in the RC fold who will ask the Pope to get them out of this pickle.